Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!

Author:

Explore More Quotes by Dave Barry

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they driv

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they drive on both sides of the road, Italy where they drive on the sidewalk, and France where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Related Quotes to Explore

    Just as true humor is laughter at oneself, true humanity is knowledge of oneself.

    Just as true humor is laughter at oneself, true humanity is knowledge of oneself.

    What we have forgotten is that thoughts and words are conventions, and that it is fatal to take conventions too seriously.

    What we have forgotten is that thoughts and words are conventions, and that it is fatal to take conventions too seriously. 

    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun.

    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun.

    Words and pictures are yin and yang. Married, they produce a progeny more interesting than either parent.

    Words and pictures are yin and yang. Married, they produce a progeny more interesting than either parent.

Search