I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

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Explore More Quotes by Dave Barry

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they driv

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they drive on both sides of the road, Italy where they drive on the sidewalk, and France where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Fishing is boring unless you catch an actual fish and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring unless you catch an actual fish and then it is disgusting.

Related Quotes to Explore

    I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

    I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

    I love to travel, but hate to arrive.

    I love to travel, but hate to arrive.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

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