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One popular new plastic surgery technique is called lip grafting or "fat recycling" wherein fat cells are removed from one part of your body that is too large such as your buttocks and injected into your lips, people will then be literally kissing ass.
Explore More Quotes by Dave Barry
It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.
Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.
I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they drive on both sides of the road, Italy where they drive on the sidewalk, and France where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.
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The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.
I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
