I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet and I was gonna keep it rather than retu Emo Philips Quotes
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I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet and I was gonna keep it rather than return it but I thought: well if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.

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You know what I hate? Indian givers... no I take that back.

You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky but there's never any gum under any of

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky but there's never any gum under any of them.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

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