In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any they g

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any they gave you some.

Author: Emo Philips

You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky but there's never any gum under any of them.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.