My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.

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Explore More Quotes by Emo Philips

You know what I hate? Indian givers... no I take that back.

You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky but there's never any gum under any of

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky but there's never any gum under any of them.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

Related Quotes to Explore

    Copulation is no more foul to me than death is.

    Copulation is no more foul to me than death is.

    The natural thing, my lord, men and women joined.

    The natural thing, my lord, men and women joined.

    To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth - I count that something of a miracle.

    To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth - I count that something of a miracle. 

    Every girl who has dated a football player, they all have sex the same way.

    Every girl who has dated a football player, they all have sex the same way.

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