Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're Emo Philips Quotes
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Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.

Emo Philips

Emo Philips (February 7, 1956) is an American comedian. Much of his stand-up comedy makes use of paraprosdokians spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice. The confused, childlike delivery of his material produces the intended comic timing in a manner invoking the 'wisdom of children' or the idiot savant.

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Latest from Emo Philips

You know what I hate? Indian givers... no I take that back.
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky but there's never any gum under any of
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

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