Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at wor Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour she can hurt you.

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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

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    For the born traveller, travelling is a besetting vice. Like other vices, it is imperious, demanding its victim’s time, money, energy and the sacrifice of comfort.

    For the born traveller, travelling is a besetting vice. Like other vices, it is imperious, demanding its victim’s time, money, energy and the sacrifice of comfort.

    The beginning of wisdom, as they say. When you're seventeen you know everything. When you're twenty-seven if you still know everything you're still seventeen.

    The beginning of wisdom, as they say. When you're seventeen you know everything. When you're twenty-seven, if you still know everything, you're still seventeen.

    If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.

    If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.

    When you are missing someone, time seems to move slower, and when I’m falling in love with someone, time seems to be moving faster.

    When you are missing someone, time seems to move slower, and when I’m falling in love with someone, time seems to be moving faster.

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