I was too old for a paper route too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.

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Explore More Quotes by Erma Bombeck

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

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