Thanks to my mother not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

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Explore More Quotes by Erma Bombeck

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

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    Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society.

    Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society.

    True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.”

    True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.”

    We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.

    We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.

    Joy is the serious business of heaven.

    Joy is the serious business of heaven.

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