Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.

Author: Fran Lebowitz

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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Polite conversation is rarely either.

There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.

Good night and sweet dreams, my love!

Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all of one’s lifetime.

We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us.