Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.
Mitch Hedberg
Do you think I am standing here making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
Mitch Hedberg
Subordination tends greatly to human happiness. Were we all upon an equality we should have no other enjoyment than mere animal pleasure.
Samuel Johnson
If your only goal is to become rich you will never achieve it.
John D. Rockefeller
The last week looks really tough the toughest we have ever done. It will be much better to have a stronger second half than a strong first half.
Lance Armstrong
Charms strike the sight but merit wins the soul.
Alexander Pope
Men must know their limitations.
Clint Eastwood
I have met with most poetry on trunks, so that I am pat to consider the trunk-maker as the sexton of authorship.
Lord Byron
We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage then to their disadvantage.
Albert Camus
No men are oftener wrong than those that can least bear to be so.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
