There is no absurdity so palpable but that it may be firmly planted in the human head if you only begin to inculcate it before the age of five by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity.

If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven I don't want to go there.

Good men must not obey the laws too well.

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring one for talking through and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected.

Just as modern mass production requires the standardization of commodities so the social process requires standardization of man and this standardization is called equality.

Tomorrow it'll all be over then I'll have to go back to selling pens again.

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.

In nature things move violently to their place and calmly in their place

In superstition wise men follow fools

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