Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won't be too bad.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

A cat will look down to a man. A dog will look up to a man. But a pig will look you straight in the eye and see his equal.

Life is a series of dogs

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

Any man who does not like dogs and want them about does not deserve to be in the White House.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

The dog was created specially for children. He is a god of frolic.

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.

I look at myself like a show dog. I've got to keep her clipped and trimmed and in good shape.

A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.

I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.

A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.

What a dog, I got his favorite bone is in my arm.

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

Gratitude is a sickness suffered by dogs.

Dogs never bite me. Just humans.

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

Be thou comforted, little dog, thou too in Resurrection shall have a little golden tail.

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.

I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.

Writing is a dog's life, but the only life worth living.

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.

Writers are lampposts and critics are dogs. Ask lampposts what they think about dogs. Does the dog hurt the lamppost?

God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.

Dogs are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell.

I'm half-Irish half-Dutch, and I was born in Belgium. If I was a dog I'd be in a hell of a mess!

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.

A dog starved at his master's gate predicts the ruin of the state.

Nature can be modified by nurture, even dogs can cease to relish meat when they are trained to relish only vegetarian food.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.

In modern war... you will die like a dog for no good reason.

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.

Journalists are like dogs - whenever anything moves they begin to bark.

Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.

The dog is the god of frolic.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

That they may have a little peace, even the best dogs are compelled to snarl occasionally.

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

Every dog must have his day.

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

The life of an uneducated man is as useless as the tail of a dog, which neither covers its rear end, nor protects it from the bites of insects.

People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

The poor dog, in life the firmest friend, the first to welcome, foremost to defend.

My wife, and my three kids, and my grandchildren are my life, but my horses and my dogs are everything else.

We shall see that at which dogs howl in the dark, and that at which cats prick up their ears after midnight.

At twenty a man is a peacock, at thirty a lion, at forty a camel, at fifty a serpent, at sixty a dog, at seventy an ape, at eighty a nothing at all.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.

Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog, and sometimes for a man.

I'm an introvert... I love being by myself, love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my dogs and looking at the trees, flowers the sky.

Dogs are forever in the push up postion.

There are three faithful friends - an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

I also derive a great deal of pleasure from horses and dogs... the ocean... and love.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

To his dog every man is Napoleon, hence the constant popularity of dogs.

The serpent, the king, the tiger, the stinging wasp, the small child, the dog owned by other people, and the fool: these seven ought not to be awakened from sleep.

Mark what a generosity and courage a dog will put on when he finds himself maintained by a man who, to him, is instead of a God

I had rather see the portrait of a dog that I know than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.

Learn one thing from a lion, one from a crane, four a cock, five from a crow, six from a dog, and three from an ass.

I shall be glad when you have strangled the invincible respectability that dogs your steps.

Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.

Dogs may bark and jackals howl, but Truth moves Majestically forward.

But was there ever dog that praised his fleas?

The nose of the Bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go.

The dogs did bark, the children screamed, Up flew the windows all; And every soul bawled out, Well done! As loud as he could bawl.

It just happened. It's tough to explain. I would have been sick as a dog if we would have lost this game.

'Tis sweet to hear the watch dogs' honest bark - Bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home, 'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark - Our coming and look brighter when we come.

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!

You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will give you this look that says `My God you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'

Dogs need to sniff the ground, it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper containing all kinds of late-breaking news items which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.

Light may earth's crumbling sand be laid on thee, that dogs may dig thy bones up easily.

Truth is a good dog, but always beware of barking too close to the heels of an error, lest you get your brains kicked out.