Lyndon B. Johnson

Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.

Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.

I will do my best. That is all I can do. I ask for your help - and God's.

When things haven't gone well for you call in a secretary or a staff man and chew him out. You will sleep better and they will appreciate the attention.

The Russians feared Ike. They didn't fear me.

We must open the doors of opportunity. But we must also equip our people to walk through those doors.

I am a freeman an American a United States Senator and a Democrat in that order.

Any jackass can kick down a barn but it takes a good carpenter to build one.

There are no favorites in my office. I treat them all with the same general inconsideration.

A man without a vote is man without protection.

Jack was out kissing babies while I was out passing bills. Someone had to tend the store.

I once told Nixon that the Presidency is like being a jackass caught in a hail storm. You've got to just stand there and take it.

The vote is the most powerful instrument ever devised by man for breaking down injustice and destroying the terrible walls which imprison men because they are different from other men.

Our purpose in Vietnam is to prevent the success of aggression. It is not conquest it is not empire it is not foreign bases it is not domination. It is simply put just to prevent the forceful conquest of South Vietnam by North Vietnam.

A President's hardest task is not to do what is right but to know what is right.

This is a moment that I deeply wish my parents could have lived to share. My father would have enjoyed what you have so generously said of me-and my mother would have believed it.

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way and the other is to let her have it.

When the burdens of the presidency seem unusually heavy I always remind myself it could be worse. I could be a mayor.

A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it.

You aren't learning anything when you're talking.