If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.
Marilyn MonroeWell-behaved women seldom make history.
Laurel Thatcher UlrichWomen are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
Oscar WildeYou know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
Steve MartinGive a girl an education and introduce her properly into the world, and ten to one but she has the means of settling well, without further expense to anybody.
Jane AustenMan can never be a woman's equal in the spirit of selfless service with which nature has endowed her.
Mahatma GandhiAnyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho MarxEvery man loves two women; the one is the creation of his imagination and the other is not yet born.
Kahlil GibranA wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim.
Maya AngelouOne should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
Oscar WildeBehind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho MarxMen always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance.
Oscar WildeMan does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho MarxThere is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.
Steve MartinThe woman is at the heart of the home. Let us pray that we women realize the reason for our existence: to love and be loved and through this love become instruments of peace in the world.
Mother TeresaNo man is offended by another man’s admiration of the woman he loves; it is the woman only who can make it a torment.
Jane AustenA woman has to live her life, or live to repent not having lived it.
David Herbert LawrenceBetween men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
Oscar WildeAll women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
Oscar WildeGuys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.
Dave BarrySingle women have a dreadful propensity for being poor. Which is one very strong argument in favor of matrimony.
Jane AustenIf a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him.
Jane AustenFrailty, thy name is woman.
William ShakespeareThe sadness of the women's movement is that they don't allow the necessity of love. See, I don't personally trust any revolution where love is not allowed.
Maya AngelouWith men he can be rational and unaffected, but when he has ladies to please every feature works.
Jane AustenMen aren't the way they are because they want to drive women crazy, they've been trained to be that way for thousands of years. And that training makes it very difficult for men to be intimate.
Barbara de AngelisFor most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
Virginia WoolfA man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
Oscar WildeEvery woman is just a different kind of problem.
Chuck PalahniukA woman uses her intelligence to find reasons to support her intuition.
Gilbert K. ChestertonI'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
Mitch HedbergHaving a home, husband and child ought to be enough for any woman's life. I mean, that's what we are meant for, isn't it? But still I think every day is a lost day. As if only half of me is alive. The other half is pressed down in a bag and suffocated.
Ingrid BergmanThis man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny YoungmanA woman who thinks she is intelligent demands the same rights as man. An intelligent woman gives up.
Sidonie Gabrielle ColetteWoman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
Oscar WildeA woman never forgets her sex. She would rather talk with a man than an angel any day.
Oliver Wendell HolmesLove him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money.
Donald TrumpThough women are angels, yet wedlock's the devil
Lord ByronAmerican business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees, who are educated enough, that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room without having little pictures on the doors.
Dave BarryCuriosity n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.
Ambrose BierceNo doubt exists that all women are crazy, it's only a question of degree.
W. C. FieldsMen marry because they are tired, women because they are curious, both are disappointed.
Oscar WildeA single woman, with a very narrow income, must be a ridiculous, disagreeable old maid! - the proper sport of boys and girls - but a single woman, of good fortune, is always respectable, and may be as sensible and pleasant as anybody else.
Jane AustenAmerica is a friend to the people of Iraq. Our demands are directed only at the regime that enslaves them and threatens us. When these demands are met, the first and greatest benefit will come to Iraqi men, women and children.
George W. BushThere is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.
Oscar WildeWhat a strange thing man is, and what a stranger thing woman.
Lord ByronWomen should be tough, tender, laugh as much as possible, and live long lives.
Maya AngelouWomen need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.
Barbara de AngelisI hate women because they always know where things are.
VoltaireShe cherished her race. She cherished women. She cared for gay and straight people. She prayed nightly for Palestine and equally for Israel.
Maya AngelouI haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma BombeckWomen have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation, of children in arms, and men in love.
H. L. MenckenLet us leave pretty women to men devoid of imagination.
Marcel ProustThe history of men's opposition to women's emancipation is more interesting perhaps than the story of that emancipation itself.
Virginia WoolfWomen hate everything which strips off the tinsel of sentiment, and they are right, or it would rob them of their weapons.
Lord ByronI like intelligent women. When you go out it shouldn't be a staring contest.
Frank SinatraReputation is what men and women think of us, character is what God and angels know of us.
Thomas PaineThere are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
P. J. O'RourkeMany societies have educated their male children on the simple device of teaching them not to be women.
Margaret MeadWhen a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her, except continue to love her.
Oscar WildeThe marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens, unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments.
George WashingtonThe night shows stars and women in a better light.
Lord ByronAs far as I knew, white women were never lonely, except in books. White men adored them, Black men desired them and Black women worked for them.
Maya AngelouWomen love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects.
Oscar WildeI have worshipped woman as the living embodiment of the spirit of service and sacrifice.
Mahatma GandhiThe only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she's shopping.
Joan RiversThe real ornament of woman is her character, her purity.
Mahatma GandhiPrayer is not an old woman's idle amusement. Properly understood and applied it is the most potent instrument of action.
Mahatma GandhiBlack women have not historically stood in the pulpit, but that doesn't undermine the fact that they built the churches and maintain the pulpits.
Maya AngelouOn one issue at least men and women agree, they both distrust women.
James Russell LowellA woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.
Jane AustenDo you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house that's what it means.
Henny YoungmanShe’s beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is woman, and therefore to be won.
William ShakespeareI hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives.
Jane AustenShe wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman.
Oscar WildeWomen are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.
Oscar WildeWhether you're throwing up or breaking up, you want your girlfriend right there! I don't trust women who don't go to their girlfriends.
Drew BarrymoreI see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.
Oscar WildeAs long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter she is perfectly satisfied.
Oscar WildeHow can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
Oscar WildeI will far rather see the race of man extinct, than that we should become less than beasts by making the noblest of God's creation, woman, the object of our lust.
Mahatma GandhiMen always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
Oscar WildeThe great living experience for every man is his adventure into the woman. The man embraces in the woman all that is not himself and from that one resultant, from that embrace, comes every new action.
David Herbert LawrenceHow can I tolerate the slightest inconvenience to them the women the children the sick the aged the blind the decrepit that come for counsel consolation courage and cure?
Sai BabaWomen are proverbially too individualistic! There is a popular belief born out of folk - experience that three women cannot live in unison!
Sai BabaAs I've said there were patriots who supported this war and patriots who opposed it. And all of us are united in appreciation for our servicemen and women and our hopes for Iraqis' future.
Barack ObamaWhat Women Want: To be loved to be listened to to be desired to be respected to be needed to be trusted and sometimes just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.
Dave BarryWe had three pairs of women's underwear on stage after our show in Seattle. Of course they were on the large side ...
Dave BarryThe most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
Wilson MiznerAs today is a sacred day dedicated to women they should change themselves and help to change the men and the children. They should develop the qualities of sympathy compassion, love and sacrifice.
Sai BabaReading, solitude, idleness, a soft and sedentary life, intercourse with women, and young people, these are perilous paths for a young man and these lead him constantly into danger.
Jean-Jacques RousseauIn the past decade or so the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner which they learned in Wood Shop, eventually when enough things in the home are broken they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.
Dave BarryA home in which the housewife sheds tears will be bereft of all prosperity. This is the ancient conception of the role of women in the home.
Sai BabaIn nine cases out of ten a woman had better show more affection than she feels.
Jane AustenThe truth is I often like women. I like their unconventionality. I like their completeness. I like their anonymity.
Virginia WoolfI'm not denyin' the women are foolish. God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
George EliotDeprived of meaningful work men and women lose their reason for existence, they go stark raving mad.
Fyodor DostoevskyWomen are the largest untapped reservoir of talent in the world.
Hillary ClintonIf a man will understand how intimately yea how inseparably self-control and happiness are associated he has but to look into his own heart and upon the world around ...Looking upon the lives of men and women he will perceive how the hasty word the bitter retort the act of deception the blind prejudice and foolish resentment bring wretchedness and even ruin in their train.
James AllenIt is the harmony peace and mutual love between men and women that brings happiness and peace to the family. People want happiness in the family but they do not lead exemplary lives. The fault lies with both the husband and the wife.
Sai BabaWOMEN preserve the culture of this country with greater tenacity and faith. They keep men on the moral path and inspire them to follow spiritual discipline. Their hearts are tender and full of compassion for the hungry and the distressed. That is why in this land women are adored and revered.
Sai BabaMorality which depends upon the helplessness of a man or woman has not much to recommend it. Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
Mahatma GandhiMen and women should stay apart till their hearts grow gentle towards one another again.
David Herbert LawrenceFriends are generally of the same sex, for when men and women agree it is only in the conclusions, their reasons are always different.
George SantayanaI'm always rather nervous about how you talk about women who are active in politics whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.
John F. KennedyI fought all my life for women to make their own choices in their personal and professional lives. I made mine.
Hillary ClintonWomen in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.
Ambrose BierceI should like to know what is the proper function of women if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out.
George EliotWe should always deal cautiously with fire water women foolish people serpents and members of a royal family, for they may when the occasion presents itself at once bring about our death.
ChanakyaIf one could be friendly with women what a pleasure - the relationship so secret and private compared with relations with men. Why not write about it truthfully?
Virginia WoolfWithout modesty woman is devoid of beauty and culture. Humility, purity of thought and manners, meekness, surrender to high ideals, sensitivity, sweetness of temper - the peculiar blend of all these qualities is modesty. It is the most invaluable of all jewels for women.
Sai BabaDo not put your trust in rivers, men who carry weapons, beasts with claws or horns, women and members of a royal family.
ChanakyaThe strength and power of a country depends absolutely on the quantity of good men and women in it.
John RuskinWomen are tenacious and all of them should be tenacious of respect, without esteem they cannot exist, esteem is the first demand that they make of love.
Honore de BalzacThere is a tide in the affairs of women Which taken at the flood leads God knows where
Lord ByronKindness in women not their beauteous looks shall win my love.
Washington IrvingThe man who loves other countries as much as his own stands on a level with the man who loves other women as much as he loves his own wife.
Theodore RooseveltLove is the ultimate theme but it's not just for women.
Will SmithNow what I love in women is they won't or can't do otherwise than lie but do it so well the very truth seems falsehood to it
Lord ByronSweet is revenge - especially to women.
Lord ByronWhat is it that escapes the observation of poets? What is that act women are incapable of doing? What will drunken people not prate? What will not a crow eat?
ChanakyaAlas! The love of women! it is known to be a lovely and fearful thing!
Lord ByronWomen are the makers of the home the nation and the world. You are the mothers who shape the generation.
Sai BabaAristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men, although he was twice married it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths.
Bertrand RussellWe don't have enough support for maternal leave and the kinds of things that some of the European countries do. So we still make it hard on women to go into the work force and feel that they can be good at work but then doing the most important job which is raising your children in a responsible and positive way.
Hillary ClintonThe gentleness, modesty, and sweetness of her character were warmly expatiated on, that sweetness which makes so essential a part of every woman's worth in the judgment of man that, though he sometimes loves where it is not, he can never believe it absent.
Jane AustenLove is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse, it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives.
Bertrand Russell