Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em but I wouldn't want to own one.

Author: W. C. Fields

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It ain't what they call you it's what you answer to.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy, it's only a question of degree.

The natural thing, my lord, men and women joined.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she's shopping.

She’s beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is woman, and therefore to be won.