A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Author: Groucho Marx

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Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

The natural thing, my lord, men and women joined.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she's shopping.

Perhaps the history of the errors of mankind, all things considered, is more valuable and interesting than that of their discoveries.