We had three pairs of women's underwear on stage after our show in Seattle. Of course they were on the large side ...

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Explore More Quotes by Dave Barry

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they driv

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they drive on both sides of the road, Italy where they drive on the sidewalk, and France where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Related Quotes to Explore

    The natural thing, my lord, men and women joined.

    The natural thing, my lord, men and women joined.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she's shopping.

    The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she's shopping.

    She’s beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is woman, and therefore to be won

    She’s beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is woman, and therefore to be won.

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