Christopher Morley

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.

God made man merely to hear some praise of what he'd done on those Five Days.

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up.

People like to imagine that because all our mechanical equipment moves so much faster that we are thinking faster too.

Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.

The misfortunes hardest to bear are these which never came.

All students can learn.

Man an ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.

No man is lonely eating spaghetti, it requires so much attention.

It is unfair to blame man too fiercely for being pugnacious, he learned the habit from Nature.

Why do they put the Gideon bibles only in the bedrooms where it's usually too late?

There is only one rule for being a good talker - learn to listen.

If you have to keep reminding yourself of a thing perhaps it isn't so.

If we discovered that we only had five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them.

New York the nation's thyroid gland.

Words are a commodity in which there is never any slump.

Only the sinner has the right to preach.