I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact I've just had a mirror put

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

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Life is just a bowl of pits.

What a dog, I got his favorite bone is in my arm.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

With me nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now we'll never see each other!

The body is a source of endless trouble to us by reason of the mere requirement of food.

Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all of one’s lifetime.

We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us.

Copulation is no more foul to me than death is.