If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!
John WatersThe real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.
Marilyn MonroeI remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho MarxWhy should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!
George Bernard ShawI thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.
John WatersYou know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
Steve MartinEverything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.
Oscar WildeGood sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Mae WestMy first time I jacked off, I thought I’d invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, 'This is going to make me rich'.
Chuck PalahniukWe have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
Lily TomlinSex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody AllenThere should not be any trace of dislike or distrust on the score of nationality language, caste, economic status, scholarship, age or sex.
Sai BabaI believe that sex is one of the most beautiful natural wholesome things that money can buy.
Steve MartinForget sex, or politics, or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room.
Doug CouplandI can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George BurnsI'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
Mitch HedbergIn itself homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man, either a human being without feeling fear, restraint or obligation.
Simone de BeauvoirNymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.
Mignon McLaughlinSex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.
Marilyn MonroeKissing - and I mean like yummy smacking kissing - is the most delicious, most beautiful and passionate thing that two people can do bar none. Better than sex hands down.
Drew BarrymoreA woman never forgets her sex. She would rather talk with a man than an angel any day.
Oliver Wendell HolmesSex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
Woody AllenSex without love is merely healthy exercise.
Robert A. HeinleinWith me nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now we'll never see each other!
Rodney DangerfieldA man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.
W. Somerset MaughamI never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Gore VidalIt's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.
Joan RiversAn intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.
Aldous HuxleyIf you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
Frank ZappaIs sex dirty? Only if it is done right.
Woody AllenSex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George BurnsIf you're a sexist, racist, homophobe, or basically an arsehole, don't buy this CD. I don't care if you like me, I hate you.
Kurt CobainSex is God's joke on human beings.
Bette DavisAmazing that the human race has taken enough time out from thinking about food or sex to create the arts and sciences.
Mason CooleyI sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher - they are going to make a board game out of it.
Woody AllenAmerican men as a group seem to be interested in only two things: money and breasts. It seems a very narrow outlook.
Hedy LamarrThe information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.
Dave BarrySex is like money; only too much is enough.
John UpdikeFrom the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it.
Bette DavisI blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
Joan RiversSex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Woody AllenYou can't fake creativity, competence or sexual arousal.
Doug CouplandSex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.
Woody AllenWhen I attained a certain advanced intimacy with a man, and I don't just mean sex, I married him.
Hedy LamarrThere is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.
Audrey HepburnI haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma BombeckA sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing.
Marilyn MonroeSex is. There is nothing more to be done about it. Sex builds no roads, writes no novels, and sex certainly gives no meaning to anything in life but itself.
Gore VidalMy own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.
W. Somerset MaughamDancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
George Bernard ShawPeople will always choose more money over more sex.
Doug CouplandI'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
Rodney DangerfieldUnity is vital for all wherever they are and whatever their country, religion or sex. Love should be the unifying force.
Sai BabaSome things are better than sex and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FieldsA fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Woody AllenSex is emotion in motion.
Mae WestThere are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
P. J. O'RourkeSex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
John BarrymoreDeath is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody AllenTo speak of morals in art is to speak of legislature in sex. Art is the sex of the imagination.
George Jean NathanDon't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
Fran LebowitzInstead of being presented with stereotypes by age, sex, color, class or religion, children must have the opportunity to learn that within each range some people are loathsome and some are delightful.
Margaret MeadThe sexual embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer.
Marcus AureliusCopulation is no more foul to me than death is.
Walt WhitmanThe natural thing, my lord, men and women joined.
HomerTo have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth - I count that something of a miracle.
Henry MillerEvery girl who has dated a football player, they all have sex the same way.
Kim KardashianThe only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she's shopping.
Joan RiversSex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets.
Andy WarholWhen a man says he had pleasure with a woman, he does not mean conversation.
Samuel JohnsonI admit I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
Phyllis DillerRemember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Woody AllenI often think that a slightly exposed shoulder emerging from a long satin nightgown packs more sex than two naked bodies in bed.
Bette DavisSex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.
Marlene DietrichDon't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
Steve MartinI'm being treated like a sex object, cried the lady. No matter. I will take care of it, said Time soothingly.
Mason CooleySex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
Woody AllenOne thing i don't understand is sex is legal and selling things is legal, but selling sex is illegal.
George CarlinThat [sex] was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
Woody AllenChastity - the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions.
Aldous HuxleyBisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody AllenLiterature - creative literature - unconcerned with sex, is inconceivable.
Gertrude SteinIf it wasn't for pick-pockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
Rodney DangerfieldDon't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.
Woody AllenSex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody AllenIf God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.
George CarlinI think same sex couples should be able to get married.
Barack ObamaThere is hidden or flaunted a sword between the sexes, till an entire marriage reconciles them.
C. S. LewisSex between 2 people is a beautiful thing, between 5 it's fantastic.
Woody AllenI have fun being sexy and tough at the same time.
Christina AguileraBeing a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry, especially when one is tired, hurt and bewildered.
Marilyn MonroeAll women do have a different sense of sexuality or sense of fun or sense of like what's sexy or cool or tough.
Angelina JolieMy wife met me at the door, the other night, in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney DangerfieldI hate it when people take the things I say and turn them into something sexual. Just because it's funny to them doesn't mean everyone is going to take it that way. And I don't.
Kurt CobainThe difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody AllenMy play 'Safe Sex' was picked apart because critics thought it was untrue. It was a play in which no one had AIDS but the characters talked about how it was going to change their lives.
Harvey FiersteinSex and beauty are inseparable like life and consciousness. And the intelligence, which goes with sex and beauty, and arises out of sex and beauty, is intuition.
David Herbert LawrenceI don't encourage people to choose any sort of sexuality.
Marilyn MansonI had a great many sex and love cases where people were absolutely devastated when somebody with whom they were compulsively in love didn't love them back. They were killing themselves with anxiety and depression.
Albert EllisTo me, if a heterosexual has a right to do it, then I have a right to do it. And if it's important to the gay youth - who are now setting the agenda - then its important to me.
Harvey FiersteinMoney, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it, and thought of other things if you did.
James Arthur BaldwinI don't think that a same-sex marriage is the way God intended it to be.
Joel OsteenFriends are generally of the same sex, for when men and women agree it is only in the conclusions, their reasons are always different.
George SantayanaIn the duel of sex, woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft.
H. L. MenckenThere's a lot of thought in art. People get to talk about important things. There's a lot of sex, you know, in art. There's a lot of naked women and men and there's intrigue there's fakery. It's a real microcosm of the larger world.
Steve MartinSex without love is a meaningless experience but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
Woody AllenI'm not even kind of a lesbian.
Oprah WinfreyThe prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
Woody AllenI need more sex OK? Before I die I wanna taste everyone in the world.
Angelina JolieThere is no such thing as a homosexual or a heterosexual person. There are only homo- or heterosexual acts. Most people are a mixture of impulses, if not practices.
Gore VidalThe truth is sex doesn't mean that much to me now.
Lana TurnerSex pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell, it demands complete abandon, if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses the spell is broken.
Simone de BeauvoirI wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. ThompsonLove is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse, it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives.
Bertrand RussellI can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody AllenNeither sex without some fertilization of the complimentary characters of the other is capable of the highest reaches of human endeavor.
Jean-Paul SartreChastity does not mean abstention from sexual wrong, it means something flaming like Joan of Arc.
Gilbert K. ChestertonThe first and only principle of sexual ethics: the accuser is always in the wrong.
Theodor W. AdornoThe question of sexual dominance can exist only in the nightmare of that soul which has armed itself totally against the possibility of the changing motion of conquest and surrender which is love.
James Arthur BaldwinLitigation takes the place of sex at middle age.
Gore VidalThe word love has by no means the same sense for both sexes, and this is one cause of the serious misunderstandings that divide them.
Simone de BeauvoirI grew up in a family that was multifaceted sexually oriented and pretty much open to everything. And because I was working my friends were all adults. I had a tough time going to different schools because people knew me from films and I was the fat child who got beaten up every day.
Drew BarrymoreThe fact is I am not having sex. But I feel absolutely ripe for the what would you say? Plucking?
Angelina JolieOf all the sexual aberrations chastity is the strangest.
Anatole FranceMarriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.
Bertrand RussellLet's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.
Albert EllisI used to be super trendy and totally sexy. But I look back now and I used to want everything short and low cut and you really can't do it all.
Kim KardashianI feel very deeply about the need to respect and tolerate people of different social - or sexual orientation. But at the same time I believe marriage should be preserved as an institution for one man and one woman.
Mitt RomneyI have not supported same-sex marriage. I have supported civil partnerships and contractual relationships.
Hillary ClintonIn America, sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it's a fact.
Marlene DietrichI didn't know... I had no idea... maybe bike related, maybe I hit it somehow, maybe sex related! But I said 'This is ridiculous' and the pain just wouldn't go away.
Lance ArmstrongInstead of warning pregnant women not to drink I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck.
George CarlinMy mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
Emo Philips