My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert then joined the army. The first time he saluted he killed himself.

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Explore More Quotes by Henny Youngman

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

You can't buy love but you can pay heavily for it.

You can't buy love but you can pay heavily for it.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a wee

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays I go Fridays.

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    For the born traveller, travelling is a besetting vice. Like other vices, it is imperious, demanding its victim’s time, money, energy and the sacrifice of comfort.

    For the born traveller, travelling is a besetting vice. Like other vices, it is imperious, demanding its victim’s time, money, energy and the sacrifice of comfort.

    Copulation is no more foul to me than death is.

    Copulation is no more foul to me than death is.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

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