I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

Author: Will Rogers

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Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.

Even if you're on the right track you'll get run over if you just sit there.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Every girl who has dated a football player, they all have sex the same way.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.