I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

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Explore More Quotes by Erma Bombeck

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

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    The natural thing, my lord, men and women joined.

    The natural thing, my lord, men and women joined.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

    The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she's shopping.

    The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she's shopping.

    She’s beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is woman, and therefore to be won

    She’s beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is woman, and therefore to be won.

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