Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1 000 MPG.

Europeans like some Americans drive on the right side of the road except in England where they drive on both sides of the road, Italy where they drive on the sidewalk, and France where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

Man who open door for girlfriend reveal one thing... either car is new or girlfriend is.

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen, with all the money we need to buy guns, and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it and puts in into an unlocked car.

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car, but if he has a university education he may steal the whole railroad.

Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines hotels and rental-car agencies yourself only to see the arrangements get all screwed up when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you?

What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car?

A car is useless in New York - essential everywhere else. The same with good manners.

Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.