I know a lot about cars man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's

I know a lot about cars man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

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Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.

The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines because I always had a car thing.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.