Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsense jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future but only way off to the side.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.