When I was a kid if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse

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Explore More Quotes by George Carlin

A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat b

A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.

If you think there's a solution you're part of the problem

If you think there's a solution you're part of the problem.

If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.

If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.

Some people see things that are and ask Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask Wh

Some people see things that are and ask "Why?" Some people dream of things that never were and ask "Why not?" Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...

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    The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was

    The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.

    If you go to a bad movie it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie it's two years.

    If you go to a bad movie it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie it's two years.

    It's something that occurs to me many times in my movies. They can often be treated comically or dr

    It's something that occurs to me many times in my movies. They can often be treated comically or dramatically and I usually opt to treat them comically. But it occurred to me that you could get a story and you could fool around with it both ways.

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