As an old reporter we have a few secrets and the first thing is we try the phone book.

Author: Andy Rooney

Also found in:

The biggest seller is cookbooks, and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.

A writer's job is to tell the truth.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business, because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.