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I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
Explore More Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
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For the born traveller, travelling is a besetting vice. Like other vices, it is imperious, demanding its victim’s time, money, energy and the sacrifice of comfort.
Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.
When you are missing someone, time seems to move slower, and when I’m falling in love with someone, time seems to be moving faster.
