I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

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Explore More Quotes by Joan Rivers

Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is God's gift that's why we call it the present.

Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is God's gift that's why we call it the present.

I hate housework! You make the beds you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all ov

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

Never floss with a stranger.

Never floss with a stranger.

Related Quotes to Explore

    The baby is fine the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

    The baby is fine, the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

    This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a

    This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

    My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

    My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

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