You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

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Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year.

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

Having imagination, it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that, if you were unimaginative, would take you only a minute.

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.