The beginning of wisdom, as they say. When you're seventeen you know everything. When you're twenty-seven, if you still know everything, you're still seventeen.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

In fact, you couldn't give me anything to make me go back to being a teenager. Never. No, I hated it.

I remember the first time I heard a teenager say 'LOL.' Just what? But it means 'laugh.' Why don't you just laugh? What are you doing?

At fifteen, life had taught me undeniably that surrender in its place was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice.

As a teenager I was so insecure. I was the type of guy that never fitted in because he never dared to choose. I was convinced I had absolutely no talent at all. For nothing. And that thought took away all my ambition too.

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

To look almost pretty is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain for the first fifteen years of her life, than a beauty from her cradle can ever receive.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

I didn't have high self-esteem when I was a teen-ager as I think most teen-agers don't.

The internet has been a boon and a curse for teenagers.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

I wish all teenagers can filter through songs instead of turning to drugs and alcohol.

It seems that so much writing is being done in the nineteenth-century model where every connection has to be thoroughly explained.

And so by the fifteenth century on October 8 the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to and they came up with a new concept: the West.

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.

I won't be happy until we have every boy in America between the ages of six and sixteen wearing a glove and swinging a bat.

Get into a line that you will find to be a deep personal interest something you really enjoy spending twelve to fifteen hours a day working at and the rest of the time thinking about.

If I could sell 500 million records every time it would be great. But I've also had the luxury experience of having it when I was a teenager in a very kind of model version of it.

One cannot become a saint when one works sixteen hours a day.

I seldom think of politics more than eighteen hours a day.

Seven hundred and sixteen billion dollars funneled out of Medicare by President Obama. An obligation we have to our parents and grandparents is being sacrificed all to pay for a new entitlement we didn't even ask for. The greatest threat to Medicare is Obamacare and we're going to stop it.

Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years scold them. By the time they turn sixteen treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends.

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.

Oh the innocent girl in her maiden teens knows perfectly well what everything means.

Why one man rather than another? It was odd. You find yourself involved with a fellow for life just because he was the one that you met when you were nineteen.

For what Harley Street specialist has time to understand the body let alone the mind or both in combination when he is a slave to thirteen thousand a year?

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.

Unquestionably it is possible to do without happiness, it is done involuntarily by nineteen-twentieths of mankind.

Fondle a son until he is five years of age and use the stick for another ten years but when he has attained his sixteenth year treat him as a friend.

It were a real increase of human happiness could all young men from the age of nineteen be covered under barrels or rendered otherwise invisible, and there left to follow their lawful studies and callings till they emerged sadder and wiser at the age of twenty-five.

Science has done more for the development of western civilization in one hundred years than Christianity did in eighteen hundred years.

When I was in my teens I had issues with OCD.

Oh if I had been loved at the age of seventeen what an idiot I would be today. Happiness is like smallpox: if you catch it too soon it can completely ruin your constitution.

I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars would sign over half to me and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year.

At fifteen beauty and talent do not exist, there can only be promise of the coming woman.

In the land of my birth I cannot vote whereas a young person of eighteen can vote. And why? Because he or she possesses that wonderful biological attribute - a white skin.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

And God help Bruce Springsteen when they decide he's no longer God... They'll turn on him and I hope he survives it.

Well well Henry James is pretty good though he is of the nineteenth century and that glaringly.

I had this dream to become a writer since I was a teenager.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

When you're a little kid you don't see color and the fact that my friends were black never crossed my mind. It never became an issue until I was a teenager and started trying to rap.

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour she can hurt you.

We do stigmatise teens a lot and see them as scary and alien.

The only thing I understand deeply because in my teens I was thinking about it and every year of my life is software. So I'll never be hands-on on anything except software.

In the nineteenth century the problem was that God is dead. In the twentieth century the problem is that man is dead.

Ageism works in both directions. As a teenager in the public eye, people would talk condescendingly to me. When you get older there's this feeling that you have to start carving up your face and body. Right now I'm in the middle ground - I think women in their thirties are taken seriously.

At eighteen our convictions are hills from which we look, at forty-five they are caves in which we hide.

The nineteenth century was completely lacking in logic it had cosmic terms and hopes and aspirations and discoveries and ideals but it had no logic.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

A man can sleep around no questions asked but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

Adversity is the first path to truth, He who hath proved war storm or woman's rage Whether his winters be eighteen or eighty Has won the experience which is deemed so weighty

The nineteenth century believed in science but the twentieth century does not.

The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men.

As a teen I was both anorexic and bulimic.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

I was a veteran before I was a teenager.

Almost everything that distinguishes the modern world from earlier centuries is attributable to science which achieved its most spectacular triumphs in the seventeenth century.

We are living in 1937 and our universities I suggest are not half-way out of the fifteenth century. We have made hardly any changes in our conception of university organization education graduation for a century - for several centuries.

Preparation for old age should begin not later than one's teens. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement.

We need somebody who's got the heart, the empathy to recognize what it's like to be a young teenage mom, the empathy to understand what it's like to be poor, or African-American, or gay, or disabled, or old - and that's the criterion by which I'll be selecting my judges.

Until the rise of American advertising it never occurred to anyone anywhere in the world that the teenager was a captive in a hostile world of adults.

Few people at the beginning of the nineteenth century needed an adman to tell them what they wanted.