My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Drunkenness is temporary suicide.

I've been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.

When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

Then not only an old man, but also a drunkard, becomes a second time a child.

Nobody can write the life of a man, but those who have eat, and drunk, and lived in social intercourse with him.

The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.

Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses, though he be not drunk.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

One thing I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am, will never work in this town again.

A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it and buy clothes and send their children to school with it.

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.

If merely 'feeling good' could decide, drunkenness would be the supremely valid human experience.

One tequila two tequila three tequila floor.

Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions.

Man being reasonable must get drunk, the best of life is but intoxication.

I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.

When I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly.

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

It's best to rise from life like a banquet, neither thirsty or drunken.

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

Bacchus n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

What's so unpleasant about being drunk? You ask a glass of water.

You must stay drunk on writing, so reality cannot destroy you.

A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

Ennui has made more gamblers than avarice, more drunkards than thirst, and perhaps as many suicides as despair.

Drink beer. But that's kind of my goal pretty much wherever I go.

Drinking too much of Mr Weston's good wine.

If the parent is a drunkard a gambler and a cheat no amount of textbook ethics can cure the sons. I like children and the young innocence. I will not allow them to be blamed. The fault lies wholly on the shoulders of the elders, the parents and the leaders who shape the norms which they imbibe.

O thou invisible spirit of wine, if thou hast no name to be known by, let us call thee devil.

A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it.

'You are drunk, Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk.' - Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock, are ugly and disgustingly fat. But tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill, will be sober.

'My country right or wrong' is a thing no patriot would ever think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying 'My mother drunk or sober.'

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School, and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes.

It is better to rise from life as from a banquet - neither thirsty nor drunken.

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad, but New York City?

Come gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.

Man being reasonable must get drunk, The best of life is but intoxication, Glory the grape, love gold - in these are sunk - The hopes of all men and of every nation.