My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny YoungmanDrunkenness is temporary suicide.
Bertrand RussellI've been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.
F. Scott FitzgeraldHerb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
Bob MarleyNobody can write the life of a man, but those who have eat, and drunk, and lived in social intercourse with him.
Samuel JohnsonThe aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.
Henry MillerWhy don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
Henny YoungmanCreationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
Isaac AsimovIt takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George BurnsHe is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses, though he be not drunk.
EpictetusAlways do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest HemingwayThe worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
William Butler YeatsOne tequila two tequila three tequila floor.
George CarlinMan being reasonable must get drunk, the best of life is but intoxication.
Lord ByronElectricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
Dave BarryAn American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
Charles DarwinWhen I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading.
Henny YoungmanIt's best to rise from life like a banquet, neither thirsty or drunken.
AristotleIf carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Mitch HedbergBacchus n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
Ambrose BierceWhat's so unpleasant about being drunk? You ask a glass of water.
Douglas AdamsYou must stay drunk on writing, so reality cannot destroy you.
Ray BradburyA man's true character comes out when he's drunk.
Charlie ChaplinSometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
Mark TwainAn intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest HemingwayEnnui has made more gamblers than avarice, more drunkards than thirst, and perhaps as many suicides as despair.
BuddhaDrink beer. But that's kind of my goal pretty much wherever I go.
Dave BarryDrinking too much of Mr Weston's good wine.
Jane AustenIf the parent is a drunkard a gambler and a cheat no amount of textbook ethics can cure the sons. I like children and the young innocence. I will not allow them to be blamed. The fault lies wholly on the shoulders of the elders, the parents and the leaders who shape the norms which they imbibe.
Sai BabaO thou invisible spirit of wine, if thou hast no name to be known by, let us call thee devil.
William ShakespeareA man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it.
Lyndon B. Johnson'My country right or wrong' is a thing no patriot would ever think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying 'My mother drunk or sober.'
Gilbert K. ChestertonI remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School, and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes.
George CarlinMy dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad, but New York City?
Henny Youngman