My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny YoungmanDrunkenness is temporary suicide.
Bertrand RussellI've been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.
F. Scott FitzgeraldWhen kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.
Johnny DeppHerb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
Bob MarleyThen not only an old man, but also a drunkard, becomes a second time a child.
PlatoNobody can write the life of a man, but those who have eat, and drunk, and lived in social intercourse with him.
Samuel JohnsonWhy don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
Henny YoungmanIt takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George BurnsHe is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses, though he be not drunk.
EpictetusAlways do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest HemingwayOne thing I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am, will never work in this town again.
Jim CarreyThe worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
William Butler YeatsIf merely 'feeling good' could decide, drunkenness would be the supremely valid human experience.
William JamesOne tequila two tequila three tequila floor.
George CarlinMan being reasonable must get drunk, the best of life is but intoxication.
Lord ByronI have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.
Winston ChurchillI'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
Noel CowardElectricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
Dave BarryAn American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
Charles DarwinWhen I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading.
Henny YoungmanI may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly.
Winston ChurchillThe proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
P. J. O'RourkeIt's best to rise from life like a banquet, neither thirsty or drunken.
AristotleIf carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Mitch HedbergBacchus n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
Ambrose BierceOur constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Will RogersYou must stay drunk on writing, so reality cannot destroy you.
Ray BradburyA man's true character comes out when he's drunk.
Charlie ChaplinSometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
Mark TwainAn intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest HemingwayEnnui has made more gamblers than avarice, more drunkards than thirst, and perhaps as many suicides as despair.
BuddhaDrink beer. But that's kind of my goal pretty much wherever I go.
Dave BarryDrinking too much of Mr Weston's good wine.
Jane AustenIf the parent is a drunkard a gambler and a cheat no amount of textbook ethics can cure the sons. I like children and the young innocence. I will not allow them to be blamed. The fault lies wholly on the shoulders of the elders, the parents and the leaders who shape the norms which they imbibe.
Sai BabaO thou invisible spirit of wine, if thou hast no name to be known by, let us call thee devil.
William ShakespeareA man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it.
Lyndon B. Johnson'You are drunk, Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk.' - Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock, are ugly and disgustingly fat. But tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill, will be sober.
Winston Churchill'My country right or wrong' is a thing no patriot would ever think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying 'My mother drunk or sober.'
Gilbert K. ChestertonI remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School, and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes.
George CarlinIt is better to rise from life as from a banquet - neither thirsty nor drunken.
AristotleMy dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad, but New York City?
Henny YoungmanCome gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
William Shakespeare